Samoa: The paradoxical Pacific isle beloved by film crews

I feel like I’ve stepped onto the set of a Samoan reality TV version of Fawlty Towers.

Checking into the Return to Paradise Resort, named after the Gary Cooper film of the same name shot there in 1953, I am handed a welcome letter purportedly edited by a local woman named Aunty Pisupo.

Described in the letter’s preface as “a bit odd” but well-meaning, Pisupo is clearly quite a character, encouraging guests to “go hard” in the beachfront bar because “cocktails are so much healthier” than water – she reasons that fish don’t pee in pina coladas – and saying former US President Donald Trump could do with being put over her knee and given “a jolly good spanking on his little orange bottom”.

“That would fix him and save all this indictment palaver,” she opines. Disagree? Don’t bother taking it up with her. Complaints will be forwarded to Pisupo, the preface says, but she will completely ignore them.

After welcoming the cast and crew of the latest Australian Survivor series to the resort, Pisupo asks guests to be patient with staff. Recently reawakened from a Covid-induced two-and-a-half-year hibernation period, it is woefully understaffed, she writes. Many former employees moved to New Zealand and Australia in search of work, and new recruits are as green as can be.

“Remember that for many, not only is this their first ever job, but many have never had the money to have even eaten in a restaurant, let alone had any experience in working in one.”

That said, they will “move heaven and Earth” to correct any mistakes and make guests feel at home. “Because that is what our family is like.”

Fears we’re in for a less than polished experience appear to be justified when our party of five is led to rooms which surprise both us and the staff with their unmade beds. But, feasting on super-sweet papaya and pineapple and a local breakfast dish that tastes like a rice- and coconut-based version of cocoa pops in the open-air restaurant, any irritation evaporates.

The smiles of the staff and their high spirits are infectious. It’s hard to feel anything but love for your fellow human beings - particularly those who have suffered as much during the pandemic as the people of tourism-reliant Samoa - when you’ve stepped onto the set of a Hollywood blockbuster that had scoured the Pacific for what it believed to be a quintessential South Sea paradise.

Return to Paradise leading lady Roberta Haynes loved it so much her ashes were interred at the white chapel overlooking Lefaga Beach, and I can completely relate. Once you’ve ascended to heaven, what better resting place for your earthly remains than a palm-fringed stretch of powder white sand with what must be some of the clearest, most truly turquoise water in the Pacific?

And for much of our two days there, we and the kicked-off Survivor cast members had it all to ourselves. If you’re looking for deep relaxation in a hibiscus-scented tropical haven where you’re made to feel like a VIP visitor in an authentic Samoan village, this could well be your place.

Our group of New Zealanders and Australians arrived on the first quarantine-free passenger flight since the country’s borders closed in March 2020, and appear to be amongst the first few tourists to have returned. Wherever we wander, we feel like Samoa’s star attractions - from its Eden-like natural swimming holes to cultural shows - were made for our eyes only.

Our first morning sees us cross the main island of Upolu to visit perhaps its most recognisable attraction: A heart-shaped saltwater swimming hole set amid tangled green foliage complete with Tarzan-style vines.

A favourite with travel influencers on Instagram, it is often depicted as though it’s hidden deep within some remote stretch of rainforest. Hence my surprise when we pull up at the car park and see it's basically someone’s backyard swimming pool. But as far as swimming pools go, you don’t get much better than this.

Formed when the erosion of lava fields pockmarked the Lotofago landscape with blowholes, To Sua can be seen as symbolic of Samoa’s sometimes paradoxical nature. This is a country in which seemingly ordinary settings often hide something utterly extraordinary. If you think you’ve experienced all the Pacific Islands have to offer, just wait until you visit Samoa.

Descending the vertigo-inducing ladder that descends into the 30-metre-deep swimming hole, I divebomb into its too-blue-to-be-true waters to find myself swimming with tiny electric blue fish. Some reckless souls swim through the underground cave which connects the trench to the ocean but, much to my relief, our guide dissuades us from attempting it. I like to think of myself as fairly adventurous, but staring up at a cloudless blue sky framed by basalt walls draped in foliage in about 50,000 shades of green is a far more relaxing experience. And I don’t need another trip derailed by an unplanned visit to A&E.

A few hundred metres down the road we find ourselves at a very different, but equally idyllic swimming spot. The vibe at Vavau Beach is so laid back even the palm trees can’t be bothered to stand up straight, preferring to lean lazily over a lagoon protected by tiny desert islands. At weekends, the open-air fales that line the white stretch of sand are filled with families snacking and snoozing, we’re told. But on a Wednesday morning, it feels like we’ve illegally accessed a private beach.

Looping back towards our Apia hotel, we indulge in more beach time at Lalomanu, which Lonely Planet once named as one of the top 10 beach destinations in the world. I make a mental note to return when the beach fales visitors once flocked to are back in business. Watching the sun rise and set over this white sand wonder would, I imagine, be a budget-conscious beachcomber’s dream.

Back at Taumeasina Island Resort, we’re treated to a show by one of the country’s most famous faces: The inimitable Cindy of Samoa. Cindy hosted her own show in Apia for several years and featured in 1999 documentary Paradise Bent about fa’afafine before moving to New Zealand and wowing Stars in their Eyes judges with her Tina Turner impression.

She’s in fine form at the resort bar, interspersing retro bangers such as Shania Twain’s Man! I Feel Like A Woman with suggestive comments that make the young, Aussie bloke she’s set her sights on blush and the rest of us literally LOL.

The highlight of the next day for me is the Robert Louis Stevenson Museum, set in the wide-balconied villa the prolific Scottish writer called home for the last few years of his life.

It’s easy to see why the Treasure Island author would have chosen to relocate to Samoa. Even in 2022, its untamed rainforests and closely guarded secrets make it look like a likely spot for buried treasure.

If the walls of the lovingly restored Villa Vailima could talk, they might have tales as captivating as Stevenson’s to tell. In the four years he lived there before his death in 1894 at just 44, he penned 14 books and championed locals’ political rights while co-habiting with his elderly mother, American wife, alcoholic son-in-law and the latter’s presumably long-suffering wife and son.

Nicknamed Tusitala (Teller of Tales), he was so beloved by locals that they fulfilled his dying wish of being buried atop nearby Mount Vaea by beating a path through the bush and hoisting his coffin up on their shoulders. Known as The Road of the Loving Heart, the path is now a 30-minute hiking trail with views stretching across Apia to the ocean.

Framed photos in the villa offer a fascinating snapshot into what life must have been like for the family and local villagers in those days. Although, with the absence of tourists on the island, I get an inkling on what it might have been like.

Catching an early-morning ferry to Samoa’s largest island Savai’i the next morning, we head to the Alofaaga Blowholes, where our guide throws a coconut onto the geyser-like eruptions of seawater, blasting it over the wave-battered coastline like a cannonball.

Home to some 450 rainforest-wrapped volcanoes, Samoa’s “Big Island” requires several days to explore properly, with other attractions including the ruins of a village destroyed in an early twentieth century eruption, a subterranean lava tube named after a legendary band of dwarves, and an ancient pyramidal structure known as the Pulemelei Mound whose original purpose remains unknown.

Sadly, we only have time to call in on a family of tapa cloth artists and swim in what feels like the secret rainforest pool fed by the Afu Aau Waterfall before heading back to the mainland. Which is when we move into flop and drop mode at the Return to Paradise Resort.

Whenever I’m doing a meditation that asks me to visualise myself in my happy place these days, I conjure those blissful two days at the resort. Wallowing in warm waters that feel like a liquid hug, feeling the tension melt from my muscles at the spa, savouring local dishes such as ika mata (fresh raw fish in coconut cream), and nanna napping on beachside sun loungers, I reach as zen-like a state as an incurable worrier can probably ever aspire to.

Thank you Aunty Pisupo and your fellow villagers for introducing us to the envy-inducing way of life that is fa’a Samoa (the Samoan way). You undersell yourselves. Your little slice of paradise is a salve for the weary traveller’s soul.

Air New Zealand flies direct to Apia, Samoa. See:

Return to Paradise Resort, from $300. See returntoparadiseresort.com; Taumeasina Island Resort, from $460. See: .

Indulge in seven nights of luxury in a Deluxe Ocean View Room and enjoy an exclusive Southern Tour of Savaii, a massage, return airport transfers as well as WST200 resort credit. From $1359 for one adult twin share. See

You can find information on accommodation, activities and tours at the Visitor Information Fale, Matafele, Apia. Email: info@samoa.travel.

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