Exploring Tahiti's wild side and soaking in friendly vibes

The best thing about visiting French Polynesia was being reminded how Pacific-connected we are. Tahitians exhibit a genuine fraternity with New Zealanders. It shows in spades, I can’t help but feel welcomed home at every opportunity. How special is that.

As far as away from crazy Papeete as you can drive, the South Coast Road ends along Tahiti-iti’s wild coast at the village of Teahupo’o. The monster surf here is famous with international surfies, the best sequences of 30m (100 foot) high breaks invariably pushed up by disturbed airflows around New Zealand 4,269km away.

Our guide Hiti-nui threw in 17 years as an IT technician with Tahiti Nui Airlines to come back to live with his wife, Aimatorii, and two teenage daughters on family land at Teahupo’o.

Hiti-nui’ s idea of a daily swim is to freestyle several kilometres through one of the five reef passes along this section of coast, then traverse along the outside of the coral reef before coming back in another pass.

This switched-on couple act as guides for their tour business along the wilderness Te Pari coast. Basalt mountains swathed in jungle spire up from the coast. Big drop waterfalls everywhere, simply spectacular.

“See that opening in the rock, that’s where we will be swimming through,” Hita-nui points as our boat wallows in the waves. “Just follow me, jump off and swim, I’ll go first so I can help you in.”Splash. Before I know it, he’s ashore and waiting.

The opening only seems a few inches high above the waterline. “Wait for a surge and let it pull you through.” I do exactly what he says and moments later find myself in the waterfall cave of Fare-ava. This partially open chasm cascades with the power of two waterfalls tumbling down over us, the intensity of it making it one of the most exhilarating things I have ever done in my 65 years.

We wait for a surge to take us out again, then follow the reef platform on foot for a good half- kilometre. The waves surging in are so warm it makes me wonder how sea creatures can live in our increasingly hot world. Some moray eels are clearly dead in their hideouts already, even if the huge parrotfish patrolling the rock pools seem happy enough.

The boat has come around to manoeuvre off a rocky cliff in the bay of Fa’a-roa, referring to the “big valley” which incises inland from here. Hiti-nui has a new set of instructions. “Climb down onto that rock… don’t hesitate, jump now!”

The water is not that calm and I feel elated once again on being helped back onto our 31-foot alloy catamaran, Ava Ino, owned and skippered by Captain Cindy Otcenasek of Teahupo’o Tahiti Safaris.

Without sounding sexist, I found there is something extremely reassuring about the calm capabilities of female skippers, especially Tahitian ones. It's just in their blood. The movie Moana is based on a young female Tahitian voyager after all. Accurately made, the Disney classic made a huge hit here, and was even translated into Tahitian.

Moored now for a shrimp lunch in the river that divides Vai-ou village, Cindy tells me about her upbringing here. “My parents lived on this side, but I had to wade across to visit my grandparents who lived on the other side.” Tahitian society is complex, but one thing is for sure, what grandma says usually goes.

On the way back, Captain Cindy takes us back to the main Te Pari reef opening, explaining that no matter how high the surf gets, the waves divide into two as it comes up to the pass, diverting to each side.

That’s why we always have a calm patch where we can watch the action. It’s a spectacle, the tourists who come out here to watch the world’s best surfers battle it out in international (Billabong Pro) competitions. Between July 27 -30, 2024, Tea Ahupo’o will also be hosting the surfing Olympics. A big event for the area.

I could have stayed much longer at Teahupo’o, but I had a ship to catch, the passenger-freighter Aranui 5 which services the Marquesas Islands. Unfortunately, I also had Covid to catch on that ship too. Four days confined to my cabin wasn’t the worst thing when I had the Pacific to watch go past, and the rest of that trip was sheer adventure.

I have to admit though, it was only on Moorea that I finally recuperated. I had no choice but to wait here anyway, the planes going back and forth from New Zealand were all jam-packed.

Moorea, is a true tropical paradise, 16,000 super friendly people, towering basalt mountains, cascading waterfalls, a crystal clear lagoon full of tame white tipped reef sharks, stingrays and monster trevally.

No wonder Tahitians flock to hang out here on their days off. There were several local volleyball teams on one umu (hangi) I attended on motu Fare-one. The powerful voices of a local string band giving it all they could made it highly memorable as well.

The cheapest drink on Moorea is pineapple juice, all made from the sweet Queen Tahiti variety rather than the usual and much larger Victoria ones we get in New Zealand.

Over 600 acres of well-drained steep slopes are devoted to growing pineapples on Moorea, the income derived second only to what tourism brings in to the island. The main processor on the island, Jus de Fruits Moorea, has been crushing Queen Tahitis since 1981.

Heimata Hau was formerly a chef who set up Tahiti Food Tours in 2018, the first and only person to set up such a business in French Polynesia. T

he first place he takes us is the Secret Spot waterside sand-floor eaterie, covertly wedged down a few coconut palms between the road and the water . The cooking stall is an oversize plywood box with wheels welded to it to make it adhere to the regulations and look like a food truck.

Skewers of ox heart slivers (flown up from New Zealand) is a specialty here, along with crab and rice and of course the ubiquitous baguette. With generous subsidies, the French keep the price of long baguettes at 70c throughout French Polynesia.

Primed at Secret Spot, Heimata then whisks us off to a classic Chinese takeaway joint, Chez Matairii Grill and Fish – the chips coming with creamy Rockforte sauce, steak and chow mein.

Huge servings, customers are welcome to take the leftovers home in a “petit boite”. This was a great intro to places tourists just don’t find. We finish off at a creperie in Paopao Bay, built like the poop deck of a sailing ship.

One languid afternoon dozing in my cabin at the Moorea Beach Hotel, I was entertained by the Tahitian family next door, the dad singing one song over and over all afternoon with his young daughter, on their ukulele. At the exact same point in the verse, the kid would shriek with hysterical delight. I was amazed at their stamina, it went on for hours, utterly delightful too.

Later in the day, the whole family retired to do what they did just before every sunset, sit in the water of the lagoon, cool down and watch the sun go down, laughing with each other.

That’s when I spotted her near the family, a European tourist dressed up as a Polynesian queen, floral crown and all. Posing for her boyfriend’s camera, she looked try-hard perfect upon that lagoon with setting sun. For Instagram I wondered?

Couldn’t help but notice too that the camera-wielding boyfriend was careful not to let the family ruin his perfect shot, purposely framing them out of every shot. That shoot went on for a good half hour and said it all for me. The western cult of “look at me”, alongside the easy-going, family fun-loving Polynesians.

The people of Moorea have struck a good balance with their tourists, fewer islands are as friendly, or so accommodating of western ways.